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The Swift Death of Democracy

Submitted by Edward on Mon, 02/19/2024 - 22:57

I’ve been suspicious of Taylor Swift’s popularity for some time now. Don’t get me wrong: She can certainly “belt a tune,” as they say. But one can only poeticise heartbreak so many times before my sympathy begins to dry up like a Cruel Summer. (Haha!) And she certainly won’t be revolutionizing musical theory anytime soon, either. After all, how many pop-singers use vocal layering to spice up those verses and choruses; or give us a good old key change for the grand finale; or sing about love? Answer: All of them.

Christmas 2023: The End of an Error!

Submitted by Edward on Wed, 12/27/2023 - 02:08

On this balmy Christmas Day boasting a beautiful +15 degrees and sunny skies, I hope you are appreciating the company of friends and family more than ever before; weather like this all but guarantees disease-laden insects will be migrating from Kansas by springtime, along with a host of invasive species the likes of which your flowerbed has never seen! (e.g. wild boars.) Enjoy those colourful boxes of chocolates and booze, I say! Purchase as many holiday greeting cards as you can and exchange them frantically - time is running out!

The Trials And Tribulations of Israeli Apologists

Submitted by Edward on Fri, 12/22/2023 - 02:29

     At this point, another colloquy on Israel is a pointless endeavour, and I apologise for the role I’m playing in pulverising this dead horse to a mushy pulp. Yet the sadomasochist in me can’t resist reaching for The Daily Rag and skimming past all those Boxing Day advertisements to seek out the latest coverage depicting this bloodbath as a righteous struggle between Pure Good and Unholy Evil - the latest mass media fairy tale coming right on the heels of their similar production: “Glorious Ukraine VS Putin the Disturbed.”

Sue Me: I Missed A Week!

Submitted by Edward on Sun, 12/03/2023 - 21:16

I apologize for my absence, fellow spiritual wanderers: I have been somewhat busy of late poring over Sigmund Freud's "Interpretation of Dreams," which has led me down a very steep rabbit-hole indeed. After all, how can I interpret the appearance of my dentist with dishevelled hair and blood-shot eyes standing in a room fluctuating between my kitchen and high-school science lab? Perhaps it is a calling to professionalize myself (represented by the dentist), get serious about my cooking (kitchen), and experiment in the manner of a chemist (science lab)?

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