Next Christmas

Soon, another Christmas will have come and gone. Gifts that were the wrong size, not needed or not wanted will have been returned. The Christmas parties and banquets will be over. People will be celebrating the start of a new year, and making resolutions. There will be the usual, often short-lived pledges to quit smoking, lose weight, and watch less television, TikTok or YouTube. Here’s an idea for a resolution that should be easier to keep. How about resolving to make next Christmas more meaningful?

The celebration of Christmas has changed a lot since it began, and it has not always been for the better.
It started as an adaptation of pagan celebrations of the winter solstice to the new Christian faith. Since then it has metamorphosed into what is, at its worst, an overindulgent orgy of gluttony, drunkenness and materialism. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but only a little. The celebration has become a festival after which the revelers often feel bloated, yet still empty and hungry.

It may be too late to avoid that bloated, hungry feeling this year, but you can start preparing for a better quality Christmas as soon as you're ready. You don’t need to wait until next holiday season to get into it. You can begin at any time to condition yourself. It’s a bit like training for a marathon.

The next time a beggar asks you for change, reach into your pocket for some coins, and not just the little ones. Hand over some of the bigger ones, or maybe even dip into your wallet for some of the folding stuff.
Consider doing some sort of volunteer work, not just at Christmas time, but throughout the year.
If you already give to a charity or two, bump up that donation. Use the money you would have spent on 'Xmas' or ‘Giftmas’ to give to the poor, the hungry, the sick and the homeless.

Next Christmas, try this experiment: Change your attitude from “I want more” to “I want to give more.” Shift your 'Xmas' focus a bit, away from getting and toward giving. It doesn’t have to be a big change. As Confucius is rumored to have said, “Slowly, slowly, catch a monkey.” By the way, this is good advice to take to heart in all aspects of life.

If every year you and your loved ones indulge in the full-blown crazy commercialism of Xmas, maybe it’s time to consider doing what a lot of families have already done. You could put a spending limit on gifts, keeping them small and symbolic instead of lavish and extravagant. You could draw names, each person buying just one gift for one recipient. You could agree that only children under a certain age will be given gifts.

If your family already does those things, the next step might be to restrict the kids - and of course the adults - to one gift each either from a 'secret Santa' for the adults or from the real Santa for the children. Those are some of the ways to move away from the getting.

You might even make the ultimate change to your holiday traditions. Some families have already made this change, with no negative effects, and even seem to be better for it. But be careful. This idea is so extreme and such an assault on the very fabric of the holiday season that you should probably take just one small step at a time, and slowly work up to it.

So, what's the big idea?

This is it, and it may be frightening to younger readers, so discretion is advised:
Do Away With Exchanging Christmas Gifts Completely.

The traditional program is the tearing open of packages, followed by pigging out on too much food, then splitting off into groups to play with and fight over toys, play violent video games, visit questionable sites on the internet, or talk too loudly, argue and drink a little too much, depending on your age. Instead, simply enjoy sharing a special meal, and the company of your loved ones. Try some other group activities such as a family outing to go skating or sledding, or playing a board game or building a snowman together.

The next part, the giving, is the most important.
We’re not talking about the usual giving someone something superfluous, in a box wrapped in pretty paper and tied with ribbon, just because you know they’ll be doing the same for you (or to you).
Instead of just exchanging gifts, try also giving one or two, no strings attached. The idea is to give something to someone who needs it, without expecting anything in return. Maybe discuss and institute an annual group donation to your chosen 'charity of the year'. Give to the neediest person you can think of, even a total stranger, because that's how you get the most feel-good points.

 I realize that this is a radical, socialist-sounding idea, another assault on yet another 'very fabric', that of the antisocial-ist, consumer-based, free-market-driven capitalist system that makes this country great and keeps it running, especially at Xmas time. However, I’m not promoting any ideology. This unconditional giving is an essential part of the idea of a new and improved Christmas.

All of the above should apply to the kids as well, in children’s portions, of course. I know, popular thinking has it that kids should be given everything they want so that they can attain happiness and thus be complete. However, statistics indicate that popular thinking is half-baked, and that kids who are given everything they want attain extreme selfishness and can thus be complete delinquents. Not your kids, of course, but certainly the neighbours’.
So encourage your kids to work at giving rather than getting, before it’s too late. It may seem cruel now, but you’ll thank me for it later. Maybe they’ll even thank you for it later.

If you perform the experiment correctly, you will arrive at the end of next December with less new ‘stuff’. But you’ll also find that you were much less stressed, freer and generally happier; as a result, you were in a better mood to really enjoy the holiday, and being more relaxed, you were less prone to overindulgence in food and drink.
Yet, that empty, hungry feeling will be gone. Instead, you’ll feel satisfied and refreshed; you’ll have satisfied your spiritual hunger. The finest feasts and the most lavish gifts can’t do that.