White House sources revealed today that U.S. President Trump has discussed with his advisors the feasibility of staking a claim to the entire moon on behalf of the United States of America.
"After all, we were there first," Trump pointed out. "Remember Ned Armstrong, the first man on the moon? Greatest astronaut ever. He was American! And remember the case of the People vs. Terry Nullis? My legal people tell me she has good reasons for helping us claim the moon. Come to think of it, wasn't she a friend of Stormy Daniels?"
According to the same sources, Trump wants to create the Department Overseeing the Lunar Territory, or D.O.L.T., to be administered by Elon Musk, who becomes Chief DOLT, while the administration of D.O.G.E will be assumed by the capable team of Floki Musk and 'Beast' Zuckerberg.
When asked if he isn't concerned about what Russia, China and the rest of the world may think of his claim, Trump replied, "I don't care about the rest of the world, unless it's making money for America. We don't need the rest of the world. The rest of the world has been ripping us off. The United States only has 58 to 64 percent of the world's wealth. That should be closer to 100 percent. We need that much for purposes of national security ."
Afterward Trump mused, "What about oil? I bet there's billions of gallons of it deep under the lunar landscape somewhere. No one else has even thought of that!"
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