Certain aspects of Hallowe'en and Christmas as they are celebrated represent a lot of things about our culture that need to be improved. New Year celebrations are about as meaningful as the odometer on your car reaching 100,000. But Thanksgiving, if it's done well, brings out the best in even the worst of us. Thanksgiving (like Valentine's Day) ideally would be every day.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" The phrase is usually uttered automatically and ritually, without much reflection. But Thanksgiving can't be anything other than happy, if you're doing it right. Some people like to call it 'Turkey Day'. Each of us is free to choose whether to be thankful, or just a turkey.
That's not to say that you're a turkey if you're not thankful all the time. From month to month, week to week, and even, it seems, day to day, there seems to be more and more that we could reasonably complain about, that we wish were different, or wish we could change. It's a real challenge to maintain a positive daily attitude any more.
Maybe we need to set that pursuit of positivity aside for a bit. Maybe turn down the striving. Stop and take a mental inventory, but do it with the right attitude - an attitude of gratitude. One day of focusing on the good things we already have will go a long way toward showing us the way to getting the even better things which we still need.
I was tempted to get preachy and list everything we should all be thankful for, but I didn't succumb to that temptation, because I don't do preachy if I can help it. I'd rather think of it as dispensing helpful advice, most of which I prefer to keep to myself; but I'll give you some if either one of us thinks you really need it. I'm sure you'd do the same for me in similar circumstances.
But back to that grateful attitude, or 'grattitude'. The way to get it right is first, clear your head. Or rather, your mind. Stop that internal dialogue for a while, and just listen. Listen to what's going on in the rest of the world. Chances are that out of the eight billion of us on this planet, you and I are near the top when it comes to security, comfort and advantage. Forget about those uniquely personal concerns that you need to worry about, just for a moment. Ideally, just for this one and only, ever-present moment, but don't worry too much if you can't get into it. It takes time to get there, and it takes effort to stay there.
Think about that for a while. It takes time to get into the present moment, which is the only time there is. The only moment there ever is.
Profound, or what?
So, I'm thankful I was inspired not to preach. Instead I'll list some of the other things I'm thankful for. Many if not most of these may apply to you. I'll start with some generic stuff, then get a bit more personal.
I'm thankful that I live in Canada. It's not a perfect country by any means, maybe not as wonderful as many of us might think; but almost all of us have access to good food, clean water, a roof over our heads, as well as health care and other essential services. Yes, there's still a lot of room for improvement in regard to all that, but I'm thankful that we have those things in any form at all. I'm thankful that I can advocate and demonstrate for improvement, without finding myself in jail or on some dictator's secret 'hit list'.
I'm thankful for my friends.
I'm thankful for my family - even those members with whom there has been, or maybe still is, discord. I'm thankful for the opportunity to understand their differing views, and to learn and grow from that.
I'm thankful I was born male. When I was a child, four or five years old, I complained to my parents about what was expected of boys (and men); that they be brave, not cry, and be prepared to fight to protect and defend their families and their countries; and that girls were coddled because they were seen to be more delicate, more empathetic and compassionate, and less disruptive and combative.
I'm thankful that gender definitions and expectations have changed a lot since my youth, but at the same time I'm thankful that my parents weren't able to tell me that if I wasn't happy with my gender I could simply change it. I'm thankful that my parents would not have been quick to present me with such an option even if it had been possible.
I'm thankful that I was born when I was - after the two horrible, global wars had already been waged and, hopefully, brought humanity close enough to sanity to avoid a third; born into this era of spectacular advances in STEM - science, technology, engineering and mathematics - though that should be STEAM, where the 'A' stands for arts. Those arts include the arts of conducting proper science, developing beneficial yet benign technologies, engaging in safe and effective engineering, and correctly calculating the math; but above all, the art of living peacefully and harmoniously with each other.
I'm thankful that I'm not being forced to direct my thankfulness toward any particular deity. I'm thankful that I'm free to believe in the 'God' of my own understanding, or even no 'God' at all (though the latter seems impossible to me, at least by my own definition of the 'G' word).
According to a quote most commonly attributed to Will Rogers, “A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.”
To those friends I haven't met yet, I look forward to finding out your good stuff. No matter how challenging, painful or even unbearable your life may be at times, or even all of the time, I know you've got all the good stuff in the world, safely tucked away somewhere in there; if I'm lucky I'll get a glimpse or two of it, even on any of your 'bad days'. If I'm even luckier, I'll get to help you pull some of it out into the open.
To those with whom our friendship has not yet reached any substantial depth, let's keep working at it and see where it goes. Any direction is fine, as long as it's a positive one. That shouldn't be too difficult. After all, about half of all possible directions are positive.
I want to close by saying to everyone from casual acquaintances to intimate friends, as well as to all my family: Thank you for being who you are. I love you. I may not always show it, but I'm thankful that you're in my life.
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