Edward's blog

 "You know all those foreign policy decisions I've made in the past? Well, I'm going to keep doing them. America is #1." - Joe Biden, urgently updating the public with a hastily written Washington Post editorial

 "The People." The catch-phrase currently coughed-up by every semi-conscious politician who can muster up enough élan vitale to walk up to a podium and recite the phrases scribbled on their forearm. That's right, partisans: EVERY politician. Don't think for one second your precious little party is exempt from the lowest forms of political manipulation! 

 Today, we will be covering a topic that many of you have, no doubt, been doing wrong for years. Though many believe they are at the forefront when it comes to reading the average newspaper, what they have chosen to ignore is that the newspaper is a dated old rag that holds nothing substantial whatsoever. Local or international, the newspaper has never been displayed so brazenly for what it is: mindless gossip for failed writers turned opinion columnists. Never in the history of civilization has such a medium been exposed for its glaring flaws.

Last week's post has sparked quite a reaction, if the sheer amount of postage I received is anything to go by. While many were thrilled by the creative opportunities I presented to the populace (thank you, by the way, for all your kind and thoughtful words; at least those of you who could spell properly), others were outraged that I would stoop so low and make light of such touchy political topics. Rest assured, all you devoted revolutionaries: I never meant to insult anyone.

 Ah, Halloween: that sumptuous holiday full of mystery and terror! Cracker jacks and apple strudels for all the costumed kids parading around the neighborhood, in celebration of the Dark Prince himself!

The latest development in the Israel-Palestine conflict has been nothing short of momentous: a shocking eye-opener that hits you harder than a dose of hot coffee in the wee hours of the weekday morning. Of course, there's nothing new in the actual conflict itself. (A brief update for the uninitiated: since the creation of the State of Israel in 1948, the entire region has been a ticking time bomb to nuclear Armageddon - which, interestingly enough, some people actually want to happen; strictly for religious purposes, you understand).